WRITING JOURNAL: Within an hour on the first day that GRONE was released, it got three 1 & 2 star ratings. It was devastating. Beyond devastating.
Imposter syndrome is a threat to the sanity of first-time novelists. Throughout the process of writing the book, the question, ‘Is it any good?’ persistently looms. There are sleepless nights, and the enormity of the time and life energy invested is overwhelming. Constantly, you wonder, ‘Am I wasting my time, sitting alone in this room, relentlessly typing on this keyboard for hours, days, weeks, months, and years?’ There’s a perpetual vision of a reader scowling as they read the first chapter of your book, followed by a dismissive scoff before they toss it into a garbage bin. The truth is, as a first-time author, you have no definitive way of judging the quality of your own work.
When I saw the 1 and 2-star reviews coming in, my worst fears were justified. My writing was crap. What I didn’t know on the release day of GRONE was the existence of ‘ratings trolls.’ These are individuals who derive pleasure from assigning brand-new books with 1-star ratings. This occurs across all genres, but it appears to be particularly rampant in SF/Fantasy. Later, when I did some background checks on these reviewers, I discovered they were all male, and on the same day they gave GRONE a 1-star review, they also accorded the same rating to a dozen other brand-new books. Perhaps they judge a book by its cover and, if displeased, award it a 1-star rating. Who knows? What I do know is that this practice is soul-crushing for a first-time author and that these trolls could certainly do with a better hobby.
However, after the initial hour of GRONE’s release and over the past couple of months, as actual readers started finishing the book, the situation began to change. I started receiving emails from readers. The book began to garner social media mentions and shares. It received glowing editorial reviews from book critics. People started subscribing for email updates. The book began generating many requests, surprisingly, for a German translation (I guess Germans have a soft spot for sci-fi). The subsequent book started receiving pre-orders. It started SELLING.
Each morning, while waiting for the coffee to brew and before beginning the day’s work, I check the overnight sales and reviews. And to my surprise, I see positive daily numbers that are trending better every day. Though I am still in disbelief and my imposter syndrome isn’t yet cured (I’ll believe it when the book receives 500+ positive reviews), the good reviews and reader feedback are certainly inspiring me to stay at the keyboard.
