Many years ago I had a friend and colleague named Doug who was smart, talented, courageous, and loyal. I once worked with him on an important consulting project for almost a year in a situation where the two of us were together every day. It was an amazingly productive time and, mostly due to Doug’s talents, we created a product that delighted our client.
Funny thing, though. During that year, Doug started drifting. More and more he became introspective, anxious and depressed. More and more he behaved defensively and belligerently, and as it began to affect his work, I began to worry about him.
Eventually, I spoke to his wife, and I learned that Doug regularly went through cycles of dark depression. She said that it was very difficult for her to deal with him during these times. Anti-anxiety medicines and counseling only ever went so far, she told me. No matter the treatment, he would gradually lose his center, and something drastic would have to happen to remind him who he really was. The way she put it (and I knew she was speaking metaphorically), “Every so often he has to be hit in the head with a two-by-four.”
After several performance warnings which had no affect, my colleagues and I sat down with Doug and told him that his job was on the line. We had a long, difficult argument. The implications were significant: Doug’s work was extremely specialized and employment elsewhere wasn’t really an option for him. Without this job, he would have no way to support his family. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do professionally. It felt the way I imagined kicking a puppy would feel.
The very next day I almost didn’t recognize Doug when he came to work. It was as if a switch had flipped in his brain–and it wasn’t just an act. When I spoke with his wife she said this was normal–he would spiral downward for months, something drastic would happen as a result, and he would instantly return to his maximum state of happiness.
As I watch the current news, it seems to me that America is a little like Doug. We do amazing work, but every so often we lose sight of who we are and spiral down into societal depression and anxiety. And just like Doug, meds and treatment don’t seem to help. The only thing that seems to work is the occasional “two-by-four to the head,” as Doug’s wife so eloquently put it.
To me, this week’s attack on the United States Capitol by some of Donald Trump’s supporters should qualify as a two-by-four to the head for America. It’s time for us to spring back to our senses and remember who we are as a country. We’re strong, productive, optimistic and brave. We don’t always do the right thing at first, but we almost always get to it eventually. Maybe this shock to the system will help us remember that the US Constitution, at its core, is a social contract that gives us detailed instructions for how to disagree without resorting to violence. We’ve followed those instructions diligently for 250 years and in the process we’ve become the most powerful nation the world has ever known. It’s no accident that we are the world’s longest running and most successful democracy–it’s because we have a handbook for how to avoid killing each other.
These days its becoming hard to know what’s real and what isn’t. Many of us have been misguided by the intentional lies of men who crave nothing but personal power. We’ve been told we are victims. We’re haunted by onslaught after onslaught of vague and undefinable threats and frightening rumors of conspiracies against us. We’ve been assured that our political party will save our way of life, and that the opposing political party poses an existential threat to our nation. Many of us have fallen so far down the rabbit-hole of propaganda that we’ve completely and utterly lost sight of who we are, and what made this country great in the first place.
Let’s face it, we’re all Doug right now, and it’s up to us to make an about-face in attitude and pay attention to what brings us together instead of what divides us. The first step in this process is to focus on what’s real instead of what’s just trumped up emotion. When we spend a significant portion of our day on social media or glued to cable news or political podcasts, our view of the world is consumed by a reality that is emotionally-charged, addictive, and completely imaginary.
Right now, we would be best served to, as John Prine famously put it, “blow up your TV, throw away your papers,” and focus on what we’ve always done best: learning to live together in peace, implementing innovative ideas for making our world a better place, and making an honest buck or two in the process.
